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I Learned to Love Myself

I came across with an article written by Ken Page L.C.S.W.-How To Love Yourself First

It’s amazing that loving one’s self is based primarily on how the surroundings love us. The question that may arise from this is if nobody loves you no other person who would take the risk in dispensing such level of love except yourself.

The Holy Scriptures says, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” Matthew 22:39. This statement brings forth the message that the best measuring rod in loving others is “self”.

Giving the Best to One’s Self  is Giving the Best for others

Loving one’s self is giving the best you can. On the basic human needs which are food, clothing, shelter, education no one should be deprived of these.

Food-Everyone wants to taste and be fed of the most delicious and nutritious food as possible as we can.

Clothing-Everyone needs this to warm ourselves from cold weather and ultraviolet rays of the sun. Protect ourselves from insect bites and anything that may be unfriendly to our skin. And especially to hide our shamefulness from the examining eyes of other persons.

Shelter-A shelter is our home. It is our most essential security during day and night. Not only for security but also for comfort and this makes us envious of having an air-conditioned house especially during summer time. We wanted the durable ones to be safe from typhoons, earthquake, floods and other calamities that may come unexpectedly.

Education-We need skills, we need knowledge about everything we see and use and avail of. Education can either be formal or informal but both can be beneficial in the development of a person. He/she has to understand himself/herself, understand others, understand other living and non-living things.

These are the needs in life that can make us whole, enjoy a meaningful life and appreciate and if possible love ourselves by giving all these.

It is no wonder that the great teacher a long time ago has stressed loving one’s self is the standard to measure how we love others. Nobody wants to harm himself/herself so you don’t want to harm others. Respect yourself and others will respect you.

A Biblical Point of View of Ourselves

With respect to the Psychology Today I am taking the reversal side to have another take on the discussion.

One of the Biblical characters, Paul, that lived in the first century had a theology that states the following resounding words until this days, “Surely you know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you! God will destroy anyone who destroys God’s temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you yourselves are his temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

The Apostle impresses on every individual the holiness of our own body. The human body is part of the whole being of a person which should not be taken for granted. It should be taken cared for, it should be loved and it should serve the purpose, the ultimate good.

This is how the surroundings look at an individual, anybody who is irresponsible is condemned. If you abuse yourself particularly your body people will tag you as a person who doesn’t know what you are doing, a stiffnecked one and their love and respect are conditional.

Where does people’s love is founded?  It is from you yourself who have shown to them how you appropriate love to yourself. Gaining people’s love for you is learning to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself don’t expect that somebody will love you unconditionally.


I Learned to Love Myself

I was born in a backward environment, meaning, rural community with no means of transportation, backward economy, and agriculture. With illiterate grandparents and parents who just depend from hand to mouth existence, I never heard about loving one’s self except to go with the natural flow of life which is: eat, sleep, have self-hygiene and do what you think is appropriate, righteous and good.

As I mature I have come to a realization that the self is not just the physical but it is even, socio-cultural, political and spiritual. I see myself likened as a whole divided into four parts and without one part is not complete.

Economic-This is one aspect of life that should not be forgotten but it should not overburden life because this is only one-fourth of it.

Socio-Cultural-We should learn to socialize with other people. We are individuals but we cannot live without the help of other people. They need us and we need them, their presence and our presence makes life more meaningful than living alone. Other people will help us develop our personality.

Political-We are all citizens of a particular area and we are under certain governance. We submit ourselves to the rulings of the community and we contribute to the betterment of everyone. We all assume the responsibility of community management for this is how we are part of an orderly system.

Spiritual-They said, “Human are religious by nature” and this is true. We believe ins spirits, we believe in a Divine Being, we believe in an afterlife. By being spiritual we mold ourselves in the embrace of that Divine Being whom we believe. We worship in spirit through our minds and souls. We gain strength in spiritual nurture whom that Divine Being speaks and teaches to us.

 

I Learned to Love Myself-love myself

This is how I love myself, it is by appropriating the four parts or aspects of life and that without the other my life is not complete. This is how I gain the trust, respect, and love of other people to whom I deal with. It is somewhat challenging but I must because it is what I teach the people, that they should love themselves before they expect others to love them.

Thank you for reading and I hope you learned something. I would encourage you to share how you do love yourself by leaving a comment within the comment box below. I promise to get back to you as soon as I read your messages.

 

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16 Comments

  1. Nice post. I am glad to have come across such motivational post like this. This is just the best way to move forward. I have been so much hard on my self because  I simply want to be accepted and the loved by some social group. But I have learned in the hard way that nobody can like me the way I like myself. That has been the greatest gift I have given myself.

    • I’m happy, Kehinde that you were able to hurdle the hard times. Nothing can vanquish you if you have learned to love yourself. This is the weapon anyone has that acts as an antitetanus, antivirus that may come and inflict harm to your self.

      Continue to be strong and build your confidence as you build your social life.

  2. Wow,Beautiful article.

    i believe loving yourself is the most important step for any human being to be able to survive in this world. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love anyone else and you will be greatly insecure. Any negative comments can lead you into depression and the truth is nobody is perfect. So as to ensure you have a great life, love yourself wholeheartedly. Thanks for sharing this, I Learnt a lot.

    • Absolutely right, Aweda. By just feeding yourself is an expression of loving yourself. There are those people who committed suicide maybe because they didn’t feel the love of themselves rather they have waited for others to love them. Even if they say you jumped over a three-story building but they didn’t push you, you can still decide the best for yourself if you have the love of yourself.

      Learning to love yourself can make you strong in every angle of your life even the most challenging times.

  3. Hello Admin,

    I have read your article on I Learned to Love Myself, Thank you for sharing an amazing article, I have learned something new and interesting. I would love to follow this article and also share with my friends. i loved the way you said that: As I mature I have come to a realization that the self is not just the physical but it is even, socio-cultural, political and spiritual. I see myself likened as a whole divided into four parts and without one part is not complete. Nobody wants to harm himself/herself so you don’t want to harm others. Respect yourself and others will respect you. undoubtedly true, i really appreciate this.

    • Hi! tawhid, and I appreciate and I’m glad if you have learned something here. Yes, there are things we cannot at the moment but a time will come that we understand them and that includes ourselves, our own being. There were times we things in a very shallow way but a time will come that those things have profound meaning and applications to our life.

      Maybe during the past years, we do not care about giving attention to ourselves but this time we have seen something urgent and inevitable part of our lives and we are determined to pursue them. We are now learning to appropriate the love we wanted to feel and experience needed for our dealings with other people.

  4. Hi there,Awesome article, I really enjoyed the reading!I used to hate my self a few years ago, and the feeling was horrible. So I started to read books to help me change the way I felt about myself. And to be honest, it really helped! One of the books suggested standing in front of a mirror and repeat at loud ” I love myself” as many times as possible. Another book suggested to hug myself and kiss my self, which I did, and it felt great.But I need to be consistent with this and never stop saying that:)That’s how I learned to love my self:) Do you think it’s a good practice?Thank you for this excellent post

    • Thank you, Daniella, for your experience and the challenge you were able to overcome. I appreciate also the time you were able to read books that helped you learn to love yourself. You can share that to other people for it’s worth sharing.

      We have to communicate with ourselves with love for this is the only attribute that is not contrary to any law or anything in life. Love is always good all the time.

  5. It’s an awesome read on the greatest topic LOVE! Your genuine interest in loving ourselves is clearly visible in your article. You’ve righteously said that human being are religious in nature. I believe that the core quality of our soul is TO LOVE! 

    Even the greatest command of Lord Jesus is to Love your God and Love one another as we love ourselves, as you’ve pointed out. Feeling glad after reading your loving article. Thanks for sharing this one. Keep posting more of such. 

    • Thank you very much, akshaysaxena for the feeling of fulfillment in what you read. I pray that our Almighty Supreme Being will richly bless you with his wisdom.

      Love is God’s attribute he imparted to us human beings from the time we were conceived and was born. Hence, love is a human instinct that we always seek and exercise. We long to feel and see it in our daily lives.

      I hope you will come again and read my next articles. May God bless you with His love.

  6. Lovely way to present the great philosophy of “love yourself before others should love you”. What different narrative I happened to come across here, is the author’s describing the self as an integration of  Economic, socio-cultural, political and spiritual aspects.

    Although, these are outside attributes but together they make you as a whole and further, until you are in harmony of these attributes you actually do not love yourself. So, loving yourself is creating a harmony with all these attributes and then only people would start loving you.

    I have been reading the punchline of this philosophy since very long but, in reality I assume, now only I got a clarity on what does it really mean when somebody or certain religious scripture cites this.

    More power to the author of this post !! 

    • Thank you, Kavita for your profound reflection that adds to the point at the discussion. Yes, those aspects are what drives us in life, we move in life with those aspects in if we try to evade we lose a certain meaning in our own being. I believe they are an inevitable part of life if we really seek meaning and fulfillment.

  7. An inspirational post that has lifted my spirits. I am a true believer in loving one’s self. If you don’t love yourself how would other people love you and how would you intend to love others when you don’t even know how to love yourself. Our body is really the temple of God and we should learn to protect and take care of it. 

    Giving ourselves the best education, the best foods, dressing the right way, interacting with people are all ways that we can use to build up ourselves to become better persons that we can be proud and others can be proud of.

    • Hi, Jay. Thank you for your affirmative thoughts on three points. It must be your practice in life that I know would radiate from you and invite others to appreciate and love you as you love them too.

      Let’s exercise it purposively and freely.

  8. Thanks for sharing this article. Loving one’s self is the pathway to love others. That is in relation with what the Bible says that love your neighbor as yourself. What ever you can’t give to yourself you can’t give another. Thank you for sharing this informative and inspiring post. I have bookmarked this page to read more of your post. 

    • Thank you for your interest in this article. I will be writing and posting in the future and I hope it inspires you more in your life. Yes, we have to experience first how love is felt and applied before we do it to others.

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